


The pain of yesterday

by farbsturz



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Damian's POV, Hurt/Comfort, dvd night, its the anniversary of jason's death and his brothers try to distract him, robins looking out for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 13:55:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11922303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/farbsturz/pseuds/farbsturz
Summary: Damian didn’t have to look up from his own grave to see Todd standing still, blue eyes fixated on the personal tombstone. He could imagine the way the snow had already covered black hair, the way hands might be clenched into fists as their warmth was taken from them.Stupid Todd. Always forgot to wear appropriate clothes for the seasons.The two brothers stood in silence and Damian wondered whether he should break the silence. Damn it, where was Grayson when you needed him? Why the hell had the boy decided to come out here?Oh yea.Because no one should be alone on the anniversary day of their own death.





	The pain of yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first batfamily story so i apologize for any mistakes in their personalities.

Dying was easy. 

 

Coming back was a different story. 

 

In this business dying was an occupational hazard. But when it actually happens no one is prepared. For the pain. For the loss. For the absence.

 

The boy glanced one more time at the ticking clock before he reached for his coat to put on. His boots weren’t far away and the quiet steps of paws followed his every step. He wasn’t one for sentimental talks, hell, even Drake would be a better choice, but the youngest one knew what the others didn’t. 

 

He knew what death felt like. 

 

As Damian stepped out of the kitchen and into the dark garden, the coldness was the first thing he noticed. The wind was clawing at his body heat and he buried his hands in the pockets to save as much warmth as he could. The darkness of the night soon began to swallow him but the boy knew where he had to go. The silence of the end of the day was accompanied by the soft sounds of steps in the heavy snow and Damian huffed as he watched his dog jump around in obvious amusement. 

 

At least one of them was having fun. 

 

Damian and Titus continued to walk towards the place the boy had tried to avoid all those months. He had visited the area after he had come back, however it had acted as a grim reminder for his failure. 

 

The failure of dying. 

 

Even though his family had mostly remained quiet, Damian had eventually found the recordings of the cave and the time he had been… away. He had seen his oldest brother being uncharacteristically silent, had seen Drake actually shedding tears. Even Todd had been more aggressive towards his father than usual.  

 

His absence had caused the people he cared about great grief. 

 

And it had only been after his death that Damian had realized that they had cared about him just as much. 

 

Releasing a deep breath, the boy watched his breath being carried away by the wind. His steps became slower and Damian gritted his teeth as his reluctance began to show. 

 

It didn’t matter anymore.

 

He was alive. 

 

He was with his father and… brothers. 

 

He had overcome death. 

 

Damian pushed himself to walk further until he could finally see his goal: the family graveyard. Many graves decorated this part of their property and green eyes glanced towards the tombstones of Martha and Thomas Wayne. His grandparents. He used to come here often and complain to them whenever father hadn’t understood him. 

 

Which had been a lot of times. 

 

Normally Damian wasn’t one to believe in ghosts or the supernatural. And talking to a pile of stones had felt stupid at first as well, however he had found comfort in wording his thoughts and struggles. 

 

Dead people couldn’t judge him. 

 

Coming to a stop in front of his own grave, the boy’s back began to tense up. He straightened his stance in an unconscious way to present superiority. 

 

He had beaten death. 

 

He didn’t lay here anymore. 

 

Titus came to a stop next to him and Damian wondered whether his dog remembered the time when he hadn’t been there. The way the animal lowered its head and snuggled closer to the youngest’s leg, Damian could only guess so. Green eyes studied the destroyed tombstone by his grave and he clicked his tongue quietly. 

 

_ “Father?” _

 

_ “Yes, Damian?” _

 

_ “What happened to my tombstone?” _

 

_ “...I destroyed it. When I had made up my mind to bring you back, I destroyed it to show my resolve that you won’t stay here. That you won’t need one.” _

 

Another tombstone was still intact. 

 

And the person standing in front of it dead silent. 

 

Damian didn’t have to look up from his own grave to see Todd standing still, blue eyes fixated on the personal tombstone. He could imagine the way the snow had already covered black hair, the way hands might be clenched into fists as their warmth was taken from them. 

 

Stupid Todd. Always forgot to wear appropriate clothes for the seasons. 

 

The two brothers stood in silence and Damian wondered whether he should break the silence. Damn it, where was Grayson when you needed him? Why the hell had the boy decided to come out here?

 

Oh yea.

 

Because no one should be alone on the anniversary day of their own death. 

 

Damian licked his lips and tried to sound as indifferent as always.

 

“I believe I have failed to express my… gratefulness all those months ago.”

 

Silence. 

 

But he could hear the change as his brother shifted his weight. 

 

Todd was listening.

 

“I believe it was fairly obvious that you, Drake and me had quite a lot disagreements since I had arrived in Gotham for the first time. And it’s no secret that we can not stand each other. And yet…” 

 

He swallowed the lump in his throat, eyes fixated on the broken tombstone. 

 

“And yet you and Drake went to Apokolips to help my father. To help him in reviving me. And when I had heard about Grayson’s ‘death’, you two did not abandon me.”

 

His voice grew smaller and smaller with each word and Damian closed his eyes to force the rest of his thoughts out. 

 

“I appreciate it. And I appreciate the family which had accepted me. A broken, makeshift family with bonds stronger than blood.”

 

He finally looked towards his brother and Titus trotted over towards the former Robin to nudge against a leg. 

 

“Whether we want it or not, Todd. We are not alone. Never.”

 

The hint of a smile appeared on his brother’s face for a mere second but Damian had noticed it. He watched as Todd began to scratch Titus’ ear and the dog seemed to love it as he barked happily. The sound tore through the silence of the night and the heavy sadness was lifted from their shoulders. Green blinked in surprise when a small light appeared in the corner of his eyes and Damian turned to see several fireflies around some of the tombstones. The small animals shouldn’t be alive in this season but who was Damian to judge? He and Todd shouldn’t be here as well. 

 

Outstretching his hand, the boy stayed perfectly still as a firefly landed on his hand. Many months before he had admired and envied these little creatures. They could always produce light, would never get swallowed by the darkness. Damian used to wonder whether he could steal their light and take it for himself if he killed enough. 

 

But he had found his own light. 

 

“Here you are!”

 

A ridiculously loud voice called out and Damian watched as the firefly took off once again. A huge flashlight shone into his eyes and the boy clicked his tongue in annoyance as he shielded his eyes. 

 

“Whoops, sorry.”

 

The voice laughed and the light was soon lowered to reveal their oldest brother’s huge grin. Grayson was wearing layers of clothes and Damian merely huffed as a gloved hand came down to ruffle his hair. 

 

The boy would never admit it but he savored those little moments of affection. 

 

“Tim and I looked everywhere for you two. I even checked below your beds but we couldn’t find you.”

 

Grayson’s smile softened as he walked towards Todd and Damian watched in silence as the oldest brother removed his hat to place it on the other’s head. Todd seemed to roll his eyes but he didn’t complain about the mother hen action. 

 

Throwing an arm around Todd’s neck, Grayson led him towards the manor once again. As they passed the youngest boy Richard interlocked his arm with Damian’s, making sure his brothers wouldn’t get away once again. 

 

Titus barked happily and began to jump through the snow as the Robins began their walk back towards the manor, Grayson’s annoyingly cheerful voice ranting about trivial things. 

 

A quick glance towards Todd revealed the smallest of smiles and Damian had to look away to keep his own hidden. Leave it to Richard to pull them out of their sulking. 

 

They soon enough reached the warmth of the kitchen and Todd complained loudly as Titus decided to shake off the snow right next to him. Grayson’s laughter was interrupted as the second Robin threw the hat into his face and Damian watched in satisfaction as his brothers began to bicker slightly. 

 

The more annoying Todd sounded, the better he must be feeling. 

 

The youngest Robin sat down at the kitchen island as the other two prepared some milkshakes and snacks for the upcoming DVD evening. Even Drake joined them soon enough after he had prepared the living-room for their needs. 

 

The conversations they held were mostly mundane, with Drake and Grayson talking most of the time. Here and there insults were exchanged as someone messed up the food of another but Richard was quick to restore the peace between the brothers. Seeing Todd opening up some and making snarky comments whenever he could only proved that the presence of their brothers helped to ease his mind. 

 

They finally entered the living-room and before Todd could do something, Damian watched as Drake and Grayson took the seats at both ends of the couch. With this they forced him to sit in the middle of their little sibling gathering. 

 

For this day Todd wouldn’t be allowed to be an outsider. 

 

Green observed the second Robin hesitantly sitting down on the couch and even though Damian would have preferred to sit next to Grayson, he reluctantly sat down between Todd and Drake. Snacks and drinks were exchanged before they made themselves comfortable. The movie began and the boy clicked his tongue as he watched the first few seconds.

 

Of course, a black and white movie for the brooding vigilante who loved classical literature. 

 

Damian didn’t know how much time had passed before his eyelids began to feel heavy. He leaned more and more against Todd who surprisingly didn’t seem to mind. The current Robin felt himself drifting off as he absentmindedly felt an arm readjusting his covers before resting around his shoulder.  

 

This family might have been broken and makeshift. 

 

But Damian couldn’t have asked for more. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for taking your time and reading this!
> 
> My tumblr: [farbsturz](http://farbsturz.tumblr.com/)


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